The weather of late has been dry and warm.  That sounds all right, doesn't it?  Unfortunately, the cloud base has been about ninety feet the whole time, so it's not quite the Indian summer we were pinning our hopes on.  It's all very uninspiring.  I used to go to college with a chap who claimed he liked it cloudy, the cloudier the better in fact.  But he was a statistical outlier.  Most right-thinking Britons realise it's cobblers.

In fact it's been so stuffy of a night recently that's it's quite a challenge to sleep properly.  It's a double-edged bread knife, weather like this in October.  While no-one (particularly not yours truly) likes being cold, there's something "correct" about the cool, crisp slap in the kisser that autumn brings.  You mentally start to get the sweaters and root vegetables out of mothballs in readiness.  

The cusp of seasons, like this, helps us mark the passage of time.  Humanity has been doing this since the dawn of time, and there remains a residual part of our seemingly sophisticated modern brains that still lights up when this happens.  We react by bleeding the radiators, whilst our hairy grunting forebears simply used to hurl a mammoth on the barbie and hope for the best.

I always spare a pensée for my expat friends in Australia at times like this.  Surely the shortening and cooling of the days that October brings must be hard-wired into northern hemispherians?  I don't care how long you've lived in Wallamaloo-Super-Mare, you're going to feel at odds with the prevailing wisdom at this time of year.  

The flip side is true too of course.  It's particularly acute for Aussies in the UK on Boxing Day for some reason.  If you have access to one on the 26th this year, take a close look at him or her as events unfold.  No matter how jolly or convivial the festivities, the Aussie will wear a strained expression throughout.  This bespeaks a mind troubled by thoughts such as "This is bollocks.  I should be striding along the beach in a pair of Ray Bans and some brightly-coloured spud-cups."  Yes, you can run but you can't hide from your instincts.

"More sprouts, Bruce?"

"You haven't got a choc-ice, have you?"