Break the ice with a joke

We had our annual business conference today.  It's a 2-hour shindig at the nearby hotel.  The only reason I can be bothered to attend is that the catering is top notch.  Sit through an hour of heart-breaking business-speak and you qualify for a free lunch.

What is there to say, anyway?  If the direction of travel of the business makes your job about as current as that of lamp-lighter, then you're screwed.  And there's nothing they or you can do to remedy that.  If your skill set chimes with the direction of travel, then you're already involved.  Your workload has increased exponentially, but at least you're not in any immediate danger of receiving the dreaded notice of "consultation".  The consultation period is a 90-day stay of execution that employers are legally obliged to enter into.  It's clear to even the dullest intellect that once notice has been served, your career goose is cooked.  If the business were in two minds about your value to them, they'd keep their council.  Otherwise, they might lose a useful incumbent.  Ever if they do change their collective, corporate mind, you'll jump ship if you've any sense.

It was the usual "shit sandwich" approach this year: bit of good news (the bonus having been paid out at the end of last year); the bad news (choppy waters, change of emphasis blah blah); and finally a bit of good news (they're going to restock the stationery cupboard in time for Easter).

I managed to stay awake for most of it, and then bolted out for my complimentary lunch.  It was rather good, but I suspect the sautéed potatoes must have had some MSG on them because my mood started swinging furiously even as I was shovelling them down the hatch.  In spite of what the weasel food industry's co-opted nutritionists tell you to the contrary, it is possible to be allergic to MSG.  It drives me doolally anyway.

I'm dreading the journey home tonight too.  It's unfashionably cold in London again today - really rictus grin inducing chilly.  Chez moi is a modern, draft-free abode, but it lacks a fireplace.  The Romans didn't refer to brer fireplace as the focus for nowt.  Without one, a room lacks heart.  Objectively, our front room is plenty warm, but the old brain starts to fret and fizz when it perceives the fireplace has gone AWOL.