I had an eye test this morning. It was supposed to be a simple contact lens test, but it morphed into a sight test too when it emerged that my prescription had probably changed.
It was a new optician who performed the test (new to me I mean, not new to the profession) and something in her mien made me uneasy. It was like I was giving the wrong answers to her diagnostic questions. "What the fcuk are you talking about? The green's only clearer than the red if you're a kestrel."
Anyways, it seems the eyes are okay, but during her enquiries behind the iris, my oppie discovered that my cholesterol is probably high. "You should get a blood test," she told me. I won't be doing that. It's not that I've got a death wish or anything; it's just that I've had this condition before. And the reason it's elevated is because I'm a monster for cheese.
When the old high-cholie was first spotted some years ago, I was stunned. I'm thin and extremely fit for a man even 15 years my junior. Also, my diet is exemplary. How the phuque does someone like me get high cholesterol? My then GP and I sat in her consulting room pondering this, both of us staring at our feet and scratching the respective noggin. I then shattered the moment by letting slip that I eat cheese everyday, and had been doing so from about the age of six. The quack was horrified.
The upshot is I had to bin the curd. But, as with most addictions, it's crept back without my noticing. Well, not entirely without my noticing. I'm well aware that I've been hitting the cheddar a bit hard of late, but "what the hell?" I thought. So I'm having to go cold cheese turkey again.
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