I was sifting through a modest mound of spam this morning as usual when I happened across an interesting innovation in the genre. As you'll be no doubt aware, spam generally attempts to sell faux viagra at knock down prices to men (sorry, ladies). It does this by employing vaguely sexy subject lines to entice the male readership. Sometimes, however, the author seriously misjudges the tone, and you end up with straps like:
"Deeper in her entrails"
"Deeper in her entrails"
Thanks, jsuarez. I'm not squeamish when it comes to sex, but this allusion really doesn't do it for me. Perhaps I'm losing my mojo.
You have to feel for spammers. The competition is cut throat, which is why you get bold approaches like:
"America against swine flu - Your love will never be routine with such advantages"
Ten out of ten for effort and chutzpah, Sir. Chapeaux.
There’s a distressing piece in today’s Times (London Times) regarding an Australian city councillor named Jajnal Ban who willingly underwent “excruciating” surgery to stretch her legs three full inches.
[Councillors must weald a damn site more power in Oz than they do in the UK because the journalist employed the word “politician” to describe her. Here they’re little more than friendless, congenitally nosey underachievers.]
Ms Ban had to travel to Russia, that paragon of medical excellence and probity, to receive the treatment. She did this apparently because she feared she wasn’t being taken seriously in political circles due to her lack of visible inches. She’s now five feet four inches “tall”. As every right thinking person knows, the threshold for being taken seriously in the developed world is 5’2’’, so the procedure has been deemed a complete success, and Councillor Ban has pronounced herself delighted with the result.
I wouldn’t like to be accused of raining on Ban’s parade, or whacking off into her hat for that matter, but why didn’t she just buy some lifts or stand on a box? I’m led to believe by short acquaintances that three inches is more than achievable with modern lift insoles. And while I’m at it, might I suggest that the reason she’s not taken seriously is that she's the kind of person who would travel half way round the world to have her legs broken by a Russian. If she wanted to impress people, why didn’t she learn Latin or bulk-up on steroids like the rest of us?
[Councillors must weald a damn site more power in Oz than they do in the UK because the journalist employed the word “politician” to describe her. Here they’re little more than friendless, congenitally nosey underachievers.]
Ms Ban had to travel to Russia, that paragon of medical excellence and probity, to receive the treatment. She did this apparently because she feared she wasn’t being taken seriously in political circles due to her lack of visible inches. She’s now five feet four inches “tall”. As every right thinking person knows, the threshold for being taken seriously in the developed world is 5’2’’, so the procedure has been deemed a complete success, and Councillor Ban has pronounced herself delighted with the result.
I wouldn’t like to be accused of raining on Ban’s parade, or whacking off into her hat for that matter, but why didn’t she just buy some lifts or stand on a box? I’m led to believe by short acquaintances that three inches is more than achievable with modern lift insoles. And while I’m at it, might I suggest that the reason she’s not taken seriously is that she's the kind of person who would travel half way round the world to have her legs broken by a Russian. If she wanted to impress people, why didn’t she learn Latin or bulk-up on steroids like the rest of us?
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